Amazing

I almost cried at 1:45 pm today. My mother has been putting in apps and calling and going to interviews for 3 weeks now. She had an interview this morning. I got up after I couldn’t sleep still (my arms are having fun now that my leg is fine).  I got my lunch of beef ramen (my favorite is made by Maruchan plus you can’t beat the price) and headed up to cook it. She was reading on her phone (which is her new favorite thing to do, might get her a kindle soon or something so she can read bigger). I started my ramen and asked her how the interview went.

“I got it.”

Wow. So excited. “Great news!”

“I go tomorrow for papers and my schedule.”

“Awesome.”

 

I am excited for her. Trust me everyone was getting annoyed of her being home 24/7, even her.

 

When I started this post Ash called. I answered in a panic since earlier this week she pulled a muscle in her side and was sent home.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, $100 for your mom right?”

“Yes, why?”

“I was trying to make sure.”

“Okay, I will talk when you get out.”

“I am out.”

“What happened?” Remember, her shift was until 5:30.

“I was moved today and I get out at 2.” I wanted to scream at her. Overtime is nice. Especially for everything we have planned.

“Why?”

“I was moved.”

“Fine.”

“I’m giving my mom her $20 and stopping at the bread store.”

“Why? We don’t need bread.”

“I’m stopping at the bread store.” I wanted to strangle her.

“WHY!?!”

“For breakfast snacks.”

“Why didn’t you just say I was getting breakfast food?”

“How much do we have to use elsewhere?”

“100 for rent, 10 for me (I’ve been doing all the chores and I need money for the horse folder), 20 for your mom, and gas with a bit of food.”

“I only need 20 for gas.”

“Okay, why?”

“I pulled the 120 for my mom and yours. I have 117 left. What do we have left if we pay the phones?”

“117-10 for me, 107-50 for phones…” Typing into calculator on laptop by this point. “We’d have 37 for food.”

“Good, we get a fill up on our card Tuesday. We’re good.”

No, we’re not. “Talk to me when you get here. We can figure out the shopping list then.”

 

So long story short, I’ve been keeping a journal. In it I write things weird. Example was the first one:

I am excited and grateful Ashley has a good job. I am excited and grateful Ashley has a good job. I am excited and grateful Ashley has a good job. (I did it 10 times but you get the point).

The next one:

I am excited and grateful to feel less pain. I am excited and grateful to be able to walk longer. (stuff like that)

So:

1. She got a job 6 days after I started.
2. I got the shot 1 week after I wrote it.

So I was writing for my mom for the last 4 days. Guess what? She got  a job.

I don’t care if you believe in LOA (Laws Of Attraction) or not. I was doing it to get it out of my head. Nothing really to stress about. I am starting to believe this has something to it. Even if it just peace of mind for me.

Exciting news

So here is the discussions:

1. Lumbar puncture
2. Silk Bows
3. Big news
4. Exciting new

 

So I got the lumbar puncture and nerve blocker. HURT LIKE NOTHING I’VE EVER FELT BEFORE!! At first. Before the numbing goes in, a blue needle looking thing has to go in. I was fully awake and aware…the second attempt. The first one gave me an allergic reaction so we had to avoid that option. So sedation was out. But the staff at University of Michigan Back and Pain Clinic, talked me through it…about horses. Different breeds, my plans with some, and what this shot meant to me. It fucking worked! I went from a size 8 shoe back to a size 6 1/2. That is a BIG difference. Also now I need new shoes. Which is the best news.  We are going to be scheduling the next one for between my shoulder blades to reset the arms. We are thinking it might be a yearly shot. Yippee.

Silk bows…one of the staff members offered to make me a custom silk bow made by HAND. Takes him 2 hours to just get the thread made. He does every part. He loves horses and was the one doing most the talking to keep me distracted during the shots. He is an amazing person. I can’t wait to thank him at the end of the month.

Big news? Ash got a job!! That was the biggest relief before the shot was that she had a new higher paying job. Me? I can’t walk on my foot still for very long. Now I really feel the glass shards when I am walking longer than a half hour (will explain to therapist on Wednesday). But the bad news attached was my mom got fired when the minimum wage went up. So double edged sword on that one. She is getting her first check tomorrow. $230 for 3 days of work. She works for Maci making $12 an hour for between 8-11 1/2 hours a day. She hates the hours but she will love the checks. She might even be working the weekends. Not sure yet. She has to ask on Friday. She hates the machine she is on because it’s hurting her thumbs but she’s made friends at her job which makes me happy.

Alright so the best news I’ve had since September….

I AM GETTING A NEW HORSE!! Before I hear the whole bull shit about why sell just to get another one, I had to. I needed to end that chapter of my life. Shadow was an amazing horse but sadly he came with some…bad memories of what I endured to keep him. Now I can start with a clean slate. I’m thinking a black or buckskin horse, maybe mare. I will be shopping and trying no less than 8 horses before I pick my new one. I’m actually going to be picky. No auction horse this time. I need a 3-4 year old who has some experience with the saddle. Green broke will be fine and just shown the saddle is amazing.

I wasn’t trying to forget this thing again. I’ve just been in so much pain in my hands that typing was almost impossible. Also my sister locked me off the internet for a bit. No big deal. She’s getting money tomorrow (only $100 but our phones are getting shut off for a week).  So this last few weeks have been complicated but I am so excited that things are finally turning around. Maybe some day I will tell you what I mean by the bad memories but first I have to let my mind wrap around having a horse that doesn’t require the same thing first.